


Beetles Bath And Beyond

by Lizzyboo



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Anal Sex, Bottom Phil, Fluff, M/M, Rimming, Smut, the beetle incident, top dan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-16
Updated: 2017-11-16
Packaged: 2019-02-03 08:52:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,549
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12745041
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lizzyboo/pseuds/Lizzyboo
Summary: Phil just wanted a relaxing bath. Just wanted to soak in the warm water for an hour, listen to some music and read some Buffy comics. What he didn’t want, however, was to have his bath with a million beetles surrounding him from all sides, turning his relaxing time into an actual nightmare.Lucky for him, he had a boyfriend who just knew how to make everything better.





	Beetles Bath And Beyond

“Dan!” 

Dan was sitting on the couch with his laptop when he heard a shriek of his name coming from the downstairs bathroom. 

He was enjoying some relaxing time by himself, scrolling on tumblr and twitter and letting his brain have a night off from all the thinking and stressing and working he had been doing the last few weeks. 

Phil had walked into the lounge half an hour ago, announcing he was going to make himself a relaxing bath, asking Dan not to disturb him. 

“Are you not inviting me to join you?” Dan asked with a pout, mostly joking. He knew Phil was at his limit in the last few days. He was constantly worrying and overthinking his and Dan’s decisions and feeling bad for missing on his family vacation and just generally feeling stressed. 

They had a lot on their minds. With the approaching tour and new merch and regular video schedule they felt like they might have taken on a bit more than they can chew. 

So knowing Phil as well as he did, Dan had no doubt that what he needed right now was some relaxing time by himself, not worrying about anyone or anything other than his own enjoyment. 

“Nope. You are not allowed in there, so don’t even try.” Phil said determinedly, crossing his arms on his chest. 

Dan feigned offense, just to humor Phil a little. “Oh, I see how it is.” 

He turned away from Phil, a bit dramatically just for the effect. “Fine, go have your fantastic bath by yourself, see if I care.” he turned his attention back to his laptop, but couldn’t hold in his smile when he heard Phil’s small giggle, and felt him approaching the couch just to drop a kiss to Dan’s head before heading off to the bathroom. 

Dan was glad to finally have some time to relax and unwind. Time to turn off his brain a little and let himself think about nothing and anything. 

But even more so, he was glad that Phil was taking the time to do the same.

Because sometime Phil was really bad at taking some time off. He was just a worrier, always had been. Needed to do everything by himself, be involved in every step of every process even when it was someone else’s responsibility. To get him to relax and take a break when things were cerotic like they were now was near impossible sometimes. 

He did get better at this over the years, Dan had to admit. They both came a long way in terms of self-care. Both made changes to benefit their mental health and nerves and productivity and their relationship with each other, professional and personal. 

But still, usually he needed a gentle push from Dan in the right direction, needed someone to remind him to take a break and breathe deeply and maybe let someone else take charge for a change.

The fact that Phil came to the conclusion that he needed some time off from all that’s been going on all by himself meant that he was probably even more stressed than Dan had originally thought. 

That’s why it came as such a surprise when Phil started calling Dan’s name from the downstairs bathroom with a voice that was as far from relaxed as it gets. 

The loud shriek made Dan almost drop his laptop from his lap, quickly catching it before a real disaster happened. 

“What’s wrong?” he called back, already getting up and heading towards Phil’s distressed voice. 

He went down the stairs quickly, a little concerned with the lack of response from Phil. When he got there, he couldn’t help but stare at the peculiar sight in front of him, blinking at it in confusion. 

Phil stood with his back to him, appearing to be completely naked, peering inside the bathroom from the door frame, still dripping wet. 

“Phil?” Dan asked carefully. 

Phil jumped from the noise, turning around to look at Dan with round, horrified eyes. That was when Dan noticed that Phil was holding a very small hand towel, trying to cover his crotch, not really succeeding even at that. 

He had to contain his laughter. Whatever it was, Phil seemed pretty shaken up by it and probably wouldn’t appreciate Dan laughing at him. 

“Beetles.” Phil said suddenly, sounding mortified. 

“Excuse me?” 

“Beetles. Beetles everywhere.” He said again, and Dan started to connect the dots. 

“Are there beetles in the bathroom?” he asked, a little amused. 

“Yes! A million beetles all over the bathroom!” Phil squeaked. 

Dan went past him to look in the bathroom, leaving Phil to stand by the doorframe. 

Like Phil said, there were small, black bugs all over the walls and tiles. Even though not as many as Phil’s reaction would suggest. 

He got out of the room and closed the door behind him, looking at Phil and by this point allowing himself to laugh a little. 

“Man, this is just your luck.” He said, patting Phil’s shoulder sympathetically. 

To his surprise, Phil didn’t laugh with him, didn’t even smile a little. He was usually the first one to make a joke about those incidents, the first one to call himself a living flop and move on. But this time he looked genuinely upset by the situation. 

He dropped his towel on the floor, leaving himself completely naked and covered his face with his hands, groaning loudly.

Dan thought he might actually start crying. 

“Hey, Phil, it’s okay. Loosen up!” Dan tried, rubbing Phil’s shoulder some more. 

Phil’s head shot up then, glaring at Dan with pink eyes. 

“I can’t loosen up! That’s what the bath was for. And now I’m stressed, traumatized and can’t ever take another bath in my life!” he dropped his head to his hands again, shaking it from side to side.

“I’m so tired but I can’t really sleep because my mind is going a thousand miles an hour and I just wanted to soak in a warm bath for an hour and listen to some music and read Buffy comics and then go to sleep. Why is this too much to ask for?” 

His voice was small and whiny and Dan felt a little guilty for letting this go on for so long without noticing how much it was effecting Phil. 

“Aw Philly come here,” he said, pulling on Phil’s hands to make him show his face and then pulled him closer to his chest for a hug. 

It was a little strange hugging a wet, naked, Phil when he was completely clothed and dry, but he didn’t think too much about it. 

Phil melted a little against him, not fighting Dan’s hold on him at all. Dan let his hands rub Phil’s damp back with wide, circular motions, trying to calm him down. 

Phil slumped just a little to fit his head under Dan’s chin, fisting the front of his shirt and groaning a little again in frustration. 

“What can I do to make you feel better baby?” Dan asked. 

They didn’t use terms of endearment often, both found it a little awkward and forced at times. But sometimes, in the right mood, it just came natural. Especially since Dan knew that secretly, Phil was very cheesy. Loved sappy words and nicknames when the situation called for it.

And Dan was definitely weak for sad blue eyes and pouty pink lips, willing to do anything to make his boyfriend feel better. 

“What will make you relax?” he continued, moving one hand to Phil’s hair, scratching his scalp, feeling Phil move a little towards the touch. 

“I don’t know,” Phil grumbled, letting go of Dan’s shirt and wrapping his arms lazily around his waist, leaning all his weight on him.

“Do you want me to make you something tasty to eat?” he asked. 

Phil shook his head. “Not hungry.” 

“Not hungry? Must be a real crisis then,” he teased gently, pinching Phil’s side a little just to emphasize he was joking. 

“Shut up,” Phil said, but to Dan’s relief he could hear a smile creeping up to the corner of Phil’s lips.

“Do you want to watch a movie?” he tried something else, only to feel Phil’s head move from side to side again against his neck. 

“Do you want to go to bed and try reading a book?” 

“Can’t concentrate, too many thoughts.” Phil said and Dan tightened his hold on his body, kissing the side of his head. 

He could feel the curves of Phil’s body against him, could feel the smooth skin of his back beneath his fingertips, could feel Phil’s soft cock pressing against his thigh. 

“How about...Me helping you feel good? Taking your mind off of everything?” he said, bending a little to kiss Phil’s exposed shoulder. Phil shivered a little under his lips, but didn’t answer. 

“Mm? Would you like that? I’ll do whatever you want.” He continued, his lips still pressed to Phil’s shoulder. 

Phil kept quiet for a while, and Dan was about to suggest something else when Phil finally spoke in a small, timid voice. 

“Only if you want to,” he said. 

And it was so much like Phil to worry about something like this in that moment. To worry that Dan was only doing this because Phil was upset and not because he wanted to. 

“I wouldn’t have suggested it if I didn’t want to, now, would I?” He said, but got no response from Phil. 

Dan drew back from him a little, cupping Phil’s face with his hands and leaning in to leave a lingering kiss against Phil’s lips.

“I wouldn’t,” he said, smiling at him reassuringly and moving his thumb to press against Phil’s bottom lip, making him smile as well. 

“Okay.” 

Phil pressed close to him again and hid his face in Dan’s neck, making Dan almost coo.

Dan let him hide for a moment, let him cling and nuzzle Dan’s neck before pulling back from him. 

“How about you go to the bedroom and lie down for a few minutes? I’ll be right there.” He instructed, kissed Phil’s temple before pushing him gently away from him and towards the stairs. 

Phil went willingly, smiling at him one last time before making his way up the stairs, still completely naked. 

When Phil was out of sight, Dan opened the bathroom door and stepped inside.

He hated bags, usually more that Phil (even though he could understand how distressing it must have been for Phil to see them everywhere during his relaxing bath). 

But still, he ignored the uneasy feeling he had and made his way to the tub, pulling out the plug and emptying it, making sure Phil didn’t forget to close the tap in his rush to get out. The last thing they needed right now was a leak or a flood.

He got out and closed the door (as if it would stop the bugs from getting out from the room to the rest of the house) and made a mental note to take care of it later. He could spray them, or call the exterminator tomorrow. 

Right now he had more important matters to attend to. 

He made his way up the stairs and to the bedroom, finding Phil lying on the bed, like he told him to do. 

He was lying on his front, his exposed pale body on display for Dan to admire. His arms were tacked under his face and his long legs and back were spread out on the grey covers in a way that made Dan feel his chest tightening and his cock twitching. 

Phil barely acknowledged Dan’s presences in the room, only wiggling his toes a little at him. 

Dan walked over to him, sitting on the edge of the bed and reaching out to massage Phil’s back a little, earning a content sigh. 

He bent down, kissing between Phil’s shoulder blades and letting his head rest there for a moment, cheek pressing to Phil’s damp skin. 

“What do you want me to do?” He asked, still rubbing Phil’s tense muscles as best as he could from this position. 

“What will make you feel the best right now? Help you relax?” 

He knew Phil didn’t like asking for things in the bedroom. Got flustered and embarrassed way too easily. Which in Dan’s opinion was silly, because Dan was probably willing to do anything Phil would ask him (to an extent of course). 

Phil moved a little under him, and Dan leaned back to let him turn around to his back and face Dan, head turning to the side, blinking at him with tired, blue eyes. Dan settled comfortably by his side, lifting his feet up from the floor to the bed, knees touching Phil’s. 

Phil’s cheeks were pink and his lips a little parted and his eyes glossy and tired. He reached out and traced Dan’s cheeks and nose and eyebrows, still not saying a word. 

“Do you have anything in mind?” Dan asked again, letting his fingers wonder to Phil’s soft belly and draw patterns on it. Phil only shrugged in response. 

Dan pushed himself a little up then, moving to hover over Phil’s body, one leg going in between Phil’s. 

He leaned down and kissed Phil on the lips, slow and deep, just like Phil liked it the most. Lazy, lingering movements with just little bit of tongue. 

Phil was pliant under him, soft and willing, letting Dan take the lead with this one. 

Dan broke the kiss and moved his lips down from Phil’s cheek to his jaw. 

“Do you want me to blow you?” he asked, his lips brushing Phil’s skin. 

Phil shrugged again, and Dan could feel his skin heating up under him. Phil wrapped his arms loosely around Dan’s back, moving them up and down a little, and Dan took it as encouragement to keep asking. 

“Do you want me to ride you?” he tried something else, trailing his lips down to Phil’s neck, feeling him craning it to give Dan more room to work, but shrugged again. 

Dan sucked a little on Phil’s warm neck, careful not to leave a mark. No matter how pliant and willing Phil was at the moment, he would certainly give Dan hell about it tomorrow when he’s out of this mood if Dan would leave a mark. 

“Do you want me to rim you?” He asked, and could feel Phil’s body shiver a little, arms tightening their hold on Dan’s back. No shrug. 

Dan chuckled a little, kissing down to Phil’s collarbone before lifting his head up to look at Phil’s pink face. 

“Ding ding ding, we have a winner,” he said jokingly, delighted by the way Phil’s face managed to get even pinker. 

It wasn’t something they did often, at least not that way. Phil got really anxious and nerves sometimes, and when he got like that he couldn’t even properly enjoy himself. 

But other times…well, Dan knew for a fact that Phil really, really loved the feeling of his tongue inside of him. 

And now, Phil looked a little shy, a little sheepish, but so so turned on. 

He looked absolutely delicious under Dan’s body. His hair was still damp and he was flushed down to his chest and his pupils were so dilated and Dan just wanted to eat him up. 

Lucky for him, that was just what he was about to do. 

He leaned down again to take Phil’s bottom lip in between his own, sucking on it and earning a quiet moan from Phil. 

He started moving his hips then, slowly rocking them against Phil’s, pushing his thigh more firmly between Phil’s legs and feeling Phil gasp into his mouth. 

“Gonna make you feel so good,” he said lowly, right against Phil’s lips, and Phil whined a little, lifting up his hips from the bed and starting to push himself against Dan’s thigh in the search of more friction. 

Dan let him keep doing it for a few minutes, wanting Phil to be as gone as he could so he wouldn’t overthink anything. But when he could feel Phil’s movement starting to get faster, could feel his own cock painfully hard in his tight jeans, he pulled back a little, ignoring Phil’s protest. 

“Turn around,” he instructed, getting off of Phil’s body completely to let him do what he asked and to get his own jeans and shirt off, automatically letting his hand press against his hard cock for some relief. 

Phil wasted no time following Dan’s request, settling on his front again. 

Dan got back to the bed, sitting on his knees behind Phil, reaching Down to trace a line from Phil’s neck down his back and stopping at his bum, squeezing it for good measure. 

“Bend your knees for me?” he asked, helping Phil push up his butt and bend his knees under his body, leaving Dan with the lovely sight of Phil’s hole. 

Dan could feel that Phil was a little tense in the new position, could see his back and leg muscles straining. He knew Phil didn’t really like to feel so much on display, especially when he couldn’t see Dan’s face. But Dan was definitely going to make this worth his while. 

“You look so pretty like this,” Dan praised, leaning down to kiss one of Phil’s butt cheeks, and then biting it with no warning, earning a yelp from Phil. 

“Relax baby,” he whispered, rubbing Phil’s sides for comfort when Phil’s body remained tense. 

“I just want to make you feel as best as I can, yeah? We can do something else if you want, everything you want.” 

Phil took a deep breath, releasing it slowly. 

“No, I’m fine, sorry. I want this, if it’s okay.” His voice was soft and warm and a little shy and Dan felt his chest so full of love he was afraid it might actually explode from the feeling. 

“Of course it’s okay, whatever you want.” He said again, kissing Phil’s butt cheek one more time before reaching for their nightstand, opening it and taking out a bottle of flavored lube they had bought for occasions like this. 

He lubed up his fingers, rubbing them to heat them up a little, before pressing them to Phil’s hole, circling it a few times to let Phil get ready for his actions before pushing one finger in slowly. 

Phil’s body was used to this part, didn’t even resist to the intrusion of one finger. 

“You good?” Dan asked, just in case, moving his finger in and out of Phil’s hole slowly. Phil pushed back on his finger a little to make it go deeper, humming in response. 

Dan took it as a cue to push in a second finger, slowly and not too deep at first. At this point Dan could feel some resistance, stopping his movements to let Phil get used to the feeling. 

Phil took a deep breath, wiggling his bum a little. “it’s okay, keep going,” he said, relaxing around Dan’s fingers. 

Dan resumed his movements, pushing his fingers deeper now and with purpose. He curved his fingers, in search of Phil’s sweet spot, knowing immediately when he found it. 

Phil’s whole body spasmed and he let out his first real loud moan of the night. 

“There you go,” Dan said softly, a little cockily, pleased with himself. 

He kept it up for a while, wanting Phil to get desperate. Pushing his fingers in an increasing pace right into the spot that drove Phil wild. 

Phil was whining and moaning and pushing back on Dan’s fingers. But when Dan bent down, this time letting his tongue circle around his fingers and Phil’s rim, Phil’s whole body shuddered, and he let out a noise that even took Dan by surprise, making him retrieve his tongue and stop the movement of his fingers. 

“No no no don’t stop,” Phil was chanting, whining, pushing against his fingers to get Dan to keep going. 

And Dan was so incredibly turned on, he felt like he could have climaxed only from the noises Phil was making, from the sight of him so desperate and pleading for Dan. 

He wanted to say something. Tease or praise, anything really, but he couldn’t find his voice. So instead, he took pity on Phil, starting to move his fingers again and leaning down to lick against Phil’s hole. 

He scissored his fingers, trying to loosen Phil’s hole as much as he could before pushing his tongue inside beside them, licking against Phil’s walls. 

Phil all but screamed at the feeling. His hand found its way to his cock and he was moving it desperately while pushing against Dan’s face with force. 

Dan tried to keep up. Tried to push his tongue as deep and he could while pushing his fingers right against Phil’s prostate, letting them massage it for a few seconds a time instead of pushing them in and out, knowing that the feeling was really intense, but one that Phil absolutely loved. 

He let his tongue alternate between licking persistently inside of Phil and pushing it in and out of his hole. 

Phil was getting really close now, Dan could tell. His breathing was erratic and his hand on his cock was losing its rhythm and all his mouth could form was pleads and cries of Dan’s name. 

So with one last effort, Dan grabbed Phil’s hip with his unoccupied hand and pushed himself as deep as he could inside of Phil, working his tongue and fingers as fast and as purposeful as he could. 

Phil came with a shout, releasing all over his hand and the sheets under him. 

Dan worked him through it, slowing down his actions gradually until Phil was done, slowly pulling out of him, and letting Phil collapse on his front. 

Phil was breathing heavily, and Dan was so desperate for his own release he let his hand go straight to his own cock, pushing it inside his pants and feeling an overwhelming feeling if relief. 

He let out a loud moan, moving his hand up and down himself, feeling already close to the edge. 

Phil perked up at the noise, craning his neck to look behind him, looking at Dan with sleepy eyes and making a small noise of disapproval. 

He got up then, suddenly, pushing Dan’s hand away from his pants. 

He pushed Dan back, turning his body and trying to make him lie down against the headboard, pushing his pants off his body completely. Dan went willingly, thinking that Phil probably wanted to give him a hand job himself, or maybe even a blow job if he was lucky. But was really surprise when Phil straddled his thighs instead, moving up a bit so that he hovered over Dan’s hard, red cock, reaching behind himself and holding it against his entrance. 

“What are you-“ Dan’s sentence was cut off when Phil pushed down on him without warning, both of them moaning at the feeling. 

Dan’s hands shot automatically to Phil’s hips, steadying him on top of himself. Phil’s hands were on Dan’s shoulder, and he used that leverage to start pushing himself up and down Dan’s cock, setting a fast pace right from the start. 

Dan was in heaven. Phil’s hole was swallowing him, still lubed up from Dan's fingers and spit, taking him so well and all he could do was lie down and enjoy it. He knew Phil must be really overstimulated. Knew how sensitive he got after an orgasm, but something about Phil pushing his own boundaries, even a little, to make Dan feel good, was incredibly hot in his eyes. 

He was so close. Was close already from the second his tongue touched Phil’s hole. But when Phil leaned down, resting his body on top of his and kissing his shoulder and neck and cheek, whispering “let go,” in his ear, Dan couldn’t stop himself anymore, coming buried inside of Phil. 

Phil was chanting in his ear, but he couldn’t really hear it. His blood was pumping in his head and his heart was racing and he felt like his orgasm was spreading through his entire body. 

When he finally felt like he could focus again, at least a little, he could hear Phil’s voice saying “I love you I love you I love you,” again and again and again in his ear, kissing his cheek and jaw and neck. 

He wrapped his own arms around Phil as tight as he could, holding him to his chest and kissing his shoulder and head and every part of his body he could reach. 

“I love you so much, that was amazing.” He finally said when he found his voice again. 

“Have to live up to the branding,” Phil answered cheekily. And it was little bit silly, but such a Phil thing to say and Dan just wanted to hold him closer, to hug him tighter, even though it wasn’t really possible. 

Phil pulled back then, lifting himself up from Dan’s softening cock, whimpering a little before flopping down again beside Dan. 

“Are you okay?” Dan asked, turning to his side to face Phil, tracing his face with his fingers. 

Phil took a hold of Dan’s hand against his face, bringing it to his lips and kissing every finger before nuzzling his cheek against it and smiling at Dan with sleepy eyes. 

“Are you kidding? Just had the best orgasm ever. You’re like, the best person in the world.” He said, inching closer to Dan and burying his face in his neck. 

“You deserve a medal or something,” he added, hugging Dan by the middle and kissing his neck a few times. 

Dan chuckled. 

“Is that so?” he asked, wrapping his arms around Phil and pulling him closer, kissing his forehead, sweet and lingering. 

“Mnm.” Phil hummed in response. 

They were silent for a few moments, letting themselves soak in the closeness and content. 

“I need a shower, I have cum leaking out of my ass.” Phil said suddenly, and Dan chuckled in response. 

Phil was only this relaxed, this unfiltered, after a really great orgasm. And Dan couldn’t help but feel a little proud of himself. 

“But I’m too comfortable,” Phil added, a slight whine to his voice. “Don’t want to move.” He rubbed his head against Dan’s neck and chest, tightening his hold on Dan’s body. 

“Well,” Dan said, staring to draw patterns on Phil’s back. “You can always go take a bath.” 

And Dan couldn’t even be mad at himself when Phil pushed harshly on his chest, telling him to piss off and turning to face the other side. He couldn’t, because it was funny and it wouldn’t be them if they didn’t laugh at each other’s misfortunes, lightheartedly of course. 

And besides, he was pretty sure Phil found it funny as well. At the very least he wasn’t too upset, because when Dan moved closer to him, spooning him from behind and laughing into the back of his neck, he didn’t push him away. He just called Dan a jerk and shuffled to be closer to him, mumbling under his breath about filling Dan’s pants with a million beetles in the morning.

**Author's Note:**

> ha...ha...ha... yeah... i wrote smut again whoops :3
> 
> hope you liked it!  
> comments = life 
> 
> and come say hello to me on tumblr! (phantasticlizzy)


End file.
